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The Story Of Me, I Guess...

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The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by isox on Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:01 am


Well, My name is Ravin. I'm fifteen years old. I was diagnosed with Manic-Depression Disorder December 9th, 2012.

They sad that time heals all wounds. But it feels as if that's not true. Most people say it was cause by the death of my bestfriend...He committed suicide May 2nd, 2012. They put me on a medicine called Prozac. I felt no difference. I was still sad, upset, lost. So they tried a new medicine...Celexa.

Now I'm not sure which pill made me worse. But New Years Eve, 2013/2014, I tried to commit suicide for the first time. My grandmother found me, trying to open a pill bottle, tears streaming and shaking uncontrollably. I felt it'd be better without me. I still think that to this day...I started cutting after that, first starting with my, well now, ex-boyfriend initials. The gradually I moved onto bigger, deeper cuts everywhere on my body.

January 14th 2014, I was about to commit suicide for the second time. I wanted more than anything to be with my bestfriend again. My sister came in, and laid my five month old niece on my bed to sleep. I stared at her, breathing softly, snoring her little snore with her fists clenched tight and bink in her mouth. She was beautiful. And I knew then that I could never leave that baby. I knew shed need me.   
I was evaluated at BHC and asked to be admitted. I got a new doctor and therapist. They found out that one of the pills made the chemical imbalance in my brain worse. I can no longer control my moods. They changed drastically on their own. I now take a pill called Lamotrigine; a mood stabilizer.

For now, its not working. Ill change moods in less than a second, drastically. But the doctor says it'll take time for it to affect me at all. So I'll sit here and wait for it to work; In hopes that I may lead a normal life once again.




*******Today, my niece is six months old.*******
 I AM ONE MONTH ONE WEEK AND TWO DAYS CUT FREE.
I miss my bestfriend each and every day, but I know he'd be proud of me for fighting this.
I AM A FIGHTER, AND I WILL SURVIVE THIS

Thank You Eric, For All You Love And Support And Getting Me To Finally Share Whats Been Eating At Me For So Long.
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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by KarmaChameleon on Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:22 am

thank you for being so honest with us. i am sorry to hear again about your friend. i am glad you're self harm is getting under control. and thanks for the shoutout at the end. just remember that i only helped you say it. you did the most of this. congrats on coming clean Smile

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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by LigerMan007 on Mon Feb 24, 2014 8:48 am

I know what that's like , I have tons of things wrong with me , 
I'm so glad you never went though with it , I would never have the chance to talk to you ,  I wouldn't trade that for anything . 
I know how alone you felt , but remember , there's always someone 
right around the corner waiting for you .

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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by isox on Mon Feb 24, 2014 6:05 pm

I actually sat here like for 20 minutes debating on if I should post this or not. Today was a okay day...I just wish everything was back to normal. Thanks guys!!<3

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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by Miss Who on Mon Feb 24, 2014 7:16 pm

isox wrote:I actually sat here like for 20 minutes debating on if I should post this or not. Today was a okay day...I just wish everything was back to normal. Thanks guys!!<3

Well you made the right choice. I agree with Eric. At least you're talking about it. That's good. Smile think about those people who need you. Especially that little one! Is that her in your avatar?
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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by isox on Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:14 pm

Yes ma'am! That was us on Thanksgiving(:
She wouldn't let me put her down at all.
I love her little butt so much.
Im glad I'll get to stick around to see her grow up...

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Re: The Story Of Me, I Guess...

Post by SouthDakota on Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:33 pm

I'm glad you'll stick around, too. Thanks for sharing, I think you did well with that. Smile

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