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The Promise

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The Promise

Post by KarmaChameleon on Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:28 pm

I wrote this play. It's just the first scene. Tell me what you think.

The Promise
by
Eric Burch

Introduction
Enter
Griffin Parker,a 13 year old boy. He lives in Birmingham England. He
seems to be walking home from school alone. He walks into a house.


Griffin

Hi Mum. I’m home from school. We had a fire drill today.

Mrs. parker

(obviously drunk)
Well that’s good James.

Griffin

Mum, I’m Griffin. James has moved out, remember?

Inside griffin’s head

I
hope one day she’ll ask for the help that she needs. She might just
have to drink herself to rehab one day. Once father quits that stupid
job of his, he’ll be able to see her like this and do something.


Sophie

Mother, please. I asked you to help me with my work a long time ago.

Mrs. Parker

I told you not to interrupt!
(She strikes Sophie across the face.)

GRIFFIN
Come, Sophie. I’ll help you.

SOPHIE
Okay, Griffie.
THEY WALK UPSTAIRS. Exit introduction.
SCENE ONE
(THE CAMERA PANS ON GRIFFIN AND SOPHIE IN A ROOM WORKING ON HOMEWORK)


GRIFFIN
So look, it’s Z-E-B-R-A. You spelled it with a “U.”

SOPHIE
I’m sorry Griffin. I’ll do better next time. I promise.

INSIDE GRIFFIN’S HEAD
What
a wonderful girl. I don’t know what I could do without her. I love her
so much, and I’d do anything for her to stay with me.


SOPHIE
Griffie?

GRIFFIN
Yes, Sophie?

SOPHIE
Promise me that you’ll never let us go apart. I’m scared for mother. I don’t know how long she can go like this.

GRIFFIN’S HEAD

She’s right. It’s too true.

GRIFFIN
I
promise I’ll do anything for your safety. I will make sure you and I
will stay together. Mum will be fine. Just go to sleep. Please, Sophie.
It’s almost ten o’clock. You need your sleep, tomorrow is your big
spelling test.


SOPHIE
But I want to wait for father to get home.

GRIFFIN
I am serious. Lights out.

SOPHIE
Okay. Good night. Love you Griffie.

Griffin
Love you, too, Sophie.

(He exits. Lights out, music fades out.)

End of scene one.

_______________________________________________________________________________________



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Re: The Promise

Post by Kryptonite on Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:34 pm

very good start eric (:
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250 posts!

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